Tonight I was so stoked about eating me some chicken fried steak after a night of drinking. And yet it left me for that uncomfortable dense feeling. I feel gross, full, and heavy.
On top of that uncomfortable feeling, is that stupid feeling that I want to get rid of. A friend said he met my ex's new girlfriend. Yes I know, everyone is meeting her. It was something I knew was going to happen, but holy shit it still bothers me. How come I couldn't just have had a boyfriend who didn't have the same fucking friends. I guess its natural to wonder, will they like her? will they welcome her? THESE WERE MY GOSH DARN FRIENDS first! I never want bad things to happen to people but shit sometimes I have to admit I do. I can't be selfish but goddamn man, I am just tired of being too nice.
Everything is racing out of me.
I hate that the last guy I was interested in, has a fucking girlfriend and won't contact me anymore (should be the best thing ever)
I hate that my ex is fucking here with his girlfriend (I feel as though he broke my heart and now he is invading my space with his new life, this was my fucking life)
I hate that the guy that i technically rebounded and transfered my feelings for comes to me for girl problems. I can predict everything about his relationships.
I hate that the guy who wanted to take me out on a date canceled after he saw my facebook and has not text me back for days.
I hate that i can't find a fucking guy. Should i just give up already?? FUCCCCK
am I not good enough or something????
or is it they aren't good enough for me????
Just want to find the answers
I almost got so bothered by my ex's girlfriend meeting everyone that I want to move way from them so I can start over. But I have to deal with it. These friends of mine are my family. I gotta deal with it. There are just some fucking days I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. why do some things gotta be so fucking hard?????????
The chicken fried steak and the rest of the bullshit leaves me with this heavy dense full feeling.
I can't wait to take a shit and dump the chicken fried stead and the bull shit into the toilet.
Lord, I need help.
I have realized that I still need to forgive him and forgive myself..to move on completely.
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