So where do I start?
I can honestly say that I have come a long way but I know I'm not completely healed yet. I was at a pretty bad place several months ago. Everything bad and horrible you could possibly think of about yourself, is what I thought of. It would not be pleasant to explain what those things were exactly. At times, I do find myself in a clusterfuck of thoughts and it brings me down again but then I take a deep breathe and realize there is no need for such negative energy. I know there are people who understand what I am feeling so that is why I don't mind publishing a blog, whether it be to funny, sad, or just telling you I am happy. This is for me.
My life seemed to be going in the direction that i wanted it go, then it went off course. Who knows, maybe it wasn't going in the right direction for me in the first place. All I know is, that maybe a change is what I needed, cause what I have learned from this is that I am going to be stronger, more confident, more secure person in the end. Maybe I needed my heart broken to realize the contents of my heart. I didn't realize how much I loved him until I lost him. As cliche as it sounds, its true. I took his love for granted, and thinking it would always be there. Now I am just trying to deal with the fact that, Im still not over him and still love him, worry about him, think of him. Im still wondering if im just happy that he is still in my life as a mediocore friend or if im just waiting for him to have a sudden change of heart. I dont know. If he doesn't come back, i know that i could love again, just need to find the right person for me. Im crossing my fingers for something good to happen...
I would be nothing if i didn't have the support of my family and friends. they love me and have been with me every step of the way. My dreams aren't on hold, because im still dreaming them..
one day i'll be complete with everything ive ever wanted....
